I heard this over the radio sitting in some cab on a random day some few months ago:

In this day and age, it's a sin to be not beautiful.

Well, at that time I was sporting a huge pimple on my nose.  What a day.  But, when I thought about it, I kind of agreed.  If you guys don't remember, this had a lot to do about my thesis, and I actually hate having to argue about anything related to my thesis.  An online friend once tried debating with me about beauty and female oppression and I logged out.  Bullshit.  We were going around in circles, and a guy should never debate about beauty and fhis supposed female oppression with a girl.  A girl like me.

I went jogging today and kept thinking about what I was doing this for.  Recently I had been having problems about what kind of person I was becoming, so concerned about shopping, clothes, and being fabulous.  I once thought this Nike poster "Be Beautiful" showing women running was mean. Sadly I couldn't find that particular poster anywhere in the net.  It rubbed me in the wrong way.  Here was this universal concern about teenage girls and women not feeling good about themselves because of all these depictions of beautiful women all over the magazines, and Nike was like affirming this concept of beauty.  I thought, man, if I didn't get to look hot like that in them short shorts, what chance have I got?

The reason I started working out was because I was already having problems breathing, got tired easily, and wanted to just sleep all day. Back then, I had this mantra: die happy.  But when I started feeling the signs, I thought it might change to: die sooner.

Now that I actually started losing weight, I was loving the changes happening to my body.  In effect, I became very engrossed to looking better.  And I hated to admit, I thought about the Nike ad and then concluded, I wanted to "Be Beautiful" even more.  I repeat the quote "In this day and age, it's a sin to be not beautiful."  With all the pills and L-carnatine about, the gyms and videos, the cosmetics and lotions and random fruit extracts and animal placentas, brazilian waxes and spas, how could someone bear to be not beautiful?

Therefore, as a concerned individual aware of the averse complications of being not beautiful, one ought to have a kit with all instrumentations necessary to avoid it and improve physical appeal.  When I finally got my severance pay, I scoured the aisles of Watson's to equip myself for the journey to being beautiful.

Here are the stuff in my kit:

1. Neutrogena Ultra-sheer Dry-touch SPF 50 sunblock

Olay Total Effects Moisturizer

Scentio Milk Skin-refining scrub

Skin Food Black Sugar Scrub mask

Belo Pore-refining toner

Johnson's Baby Milk Lotion

- A few days ago, a friend texted me. "We're getting older.  Let's wear sunblock."  Truly, the piercing UV and heat rays because of complications from pollution would cause skin to age a lot faster. 

2.  Del Monte Fit and Right drink

Vitamin C

- I always thought I was eating the right stuff but my metabolism had to be enhanced.  Metabolism does change, and my mom's testimonial tells me Fit and Right should be effective.  And to further protect myself from disease I pop a vitamin C pill.  Plus, vitamin C helps in the overall health of the skin.

3.  Clean and Clear Speed Gel

Garnier Dark Spot corrector pen

- Like I keep in mind: I shouldn't have pimples like "other" people.  But I am prone to have blemishes easily, so I need that spot corrector.  I don't know if that works on eyebags.  There's only one thing I know for a fact that makes eyebags dissappear: concealer.  But I don't want that.  I want eyebags gone f.o.r.e.v.e.r.  For the record, I actually don't own a concealer. 

4.  Johnson's Baby Powder

Nivea Double Effect deodorant

- Beautiful women reportedly don't sweat.  And they have smooth underarms.

You know, this world lives on physical appeal, and acts based on judgements made by preconceived notions of it.  If someone tells me to disregard physical beauty, then he or she is telling me not to live in this world. 

Sirs, I am beautiful, therefore, I exist.