Entries for January, 2009
I realized I had not written a single composition for more than a month. I figured my brain had deteriorated to a certain extent, if deteriorating should happen in levels.
So just to familiarize myself with this whole blogging thing again, which for me needs getting into like golf, I shall begin my comeback with recollections of what my life has been in the in-between that I have missed you out on.
Let's start with Culinary school. Because I think it's the most pleasant thing that has happened so far. I am in the process of getting on top. My father texted me just recently to strive to be the top in class, as money is hard to come by these days, what with the recession that our country's slightly feeling at the moment. Not to worry, Daddy-o, I shall not disappoint you.
Well, that was, I realized, boring news. I mean, I'm doing good and everything, but the exciting part is yet to happen for my career, that's what.
Also, I should explain about my very long absence from the cyberworld. My 9-year old monitor had finally given up. Well, not really. Just that, one day, it decided to only display the lower portion of the screen. -_- Very skilled people could operate my machine, and I'm saying I could operate the thing quite well. It just got really stupid to continue its use. Besides, I was going to get my last pay from my work, so I decided to make a major purchase. PHP 7,700 acer widescreen 19" 1440x900, 5 ms. And that had made me very happy. I can now watch HD videos in their full glory.
Speaking of last pays, I'm out of work. I had gracefully finished my end of the contract. I am officially done with the call center industry. And they shall see no more of me either. I really thought I was overqualified for the job anyway, heh.
I also had enough of the people there. I mean, I did find good friends that might last, but the overall experience some people made for me there was horrible. They literally ostracized me and kept me out of whatever after-work stuff they did, the bitches. For one particular reason that up to now I cannot really fathom: that I broke up with my ex. See? Doesn't make sense, right? Like they were some BFF with my ex to begin with. And just so you know, um, no, they weren't. So what the F was their problem right? Right, I don't know either.
So now I have openly stated that my boyfriend and I broke up. It's been about two months since the break-up. Surpisingly, I'm not taking it as well as I imagined. Perhaps I'm doing well, considering our 3++ years of good relationship. I also cannot explain very well, not even to myself, why I did what I did. I'm not regretting it though, as some may surmise this as. I assume this as a normal process, what they call "moving on".
I realized that during this moment in my life, I should not be left alone for long periods of time, as I tend to hear sad songs and cry over it, even if the situation is totally different from mine. I tend to stare blankly into space and consider getting back together, which I then realize a split-second later that it's stupid. I'm probably just feeling the nostalgia, which I have reason to feel. I am trying my hardest, really, to get over it. And I'm not quite there yet.
On the other hand, to be fair and honest to everyone here, I am in fact, entertaining new possibilities in the relationship department, whatever that is. I still find it hard to engage in a new one right away, and I think I should not rush into it. Also because, the main reason I ran away from a totally stable relationship was to "find myself" and I'm still trying to reconfigure my identity, or regain my sense of self and independence. Again, whatever that is.
When I stopped work all of a sudden, and for a whole month I could not use my computer that I totally forgot how to go online, when class had ended, I was suddenly faced with a very odd dilemma: I had no idea what to do apart from cooking school. Which was totally nuts, compared to my then busy life with work, coupled with the schooling, that I had no more time for my hobbies such as manga and drinking. Well, the drinking, I had no choice but to be out of it anyway, since my workmates were being a bitch and stopped inviting me. When my god closes a door, he opens a window.
I think this is a chance for me to really regroup, ease myself in this new environment, new life, with more new people. Life begins at 40. I'm 21 (going 22 this March 26 as a public announcement to anyone who cares), so what the hell.
Baboysai listens to Tuck and Patti, the best of
Baboysai reads One Piece
Baboysai watches Gundam 00 season 2
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