Entries for May, 2006
May 3, 2006 @ 06:43 PM
I'll Die Not Knowing
Posted by baboysai under Baboysai's Days
It used to be no big deal. It must have been because I just enjoyed the attention from someone new. It must have been because I wanted to share myself to someone who appreciated me. It must have been the new atmosphere. It must have been your universe that had my mind behaving like a little paperclip beside a strong magnet. It must have been all these coincidences that make me want to kiss you. It used to be no big deal. Now it is.
Because I do not love you. Because I have not shared my soul to you, and I don't think I ever will. Because I don't want even your body. I just want to kiss you. So bad that you induce me to tears. Because it's a big deal. Because I may not be able to contain it. Because it might haunt me forever. Because I might not bear the guilt. Because I cannot lie.
I don't know how old you are. I don't know what your interests are. I don't know where you live. I don't know what you do. I don't know what you eat. I don't know what you drink. I don't know your music. I don't want to know you. Yet your name is not enough. Because I want to know your kiss. That's all I want to know.
But I will die not knowing. And I may not be able to contain it. And it might haunt me forever. And I might not bear the regret. And I'll wonder forever how it might have been. How it might have felt. And it's tearing me apart.
I will die not knowing. You will die not knowing either. We're even. Aren't we?
THE END. Baboysai is torn
May 15, 2006 @ 02:41 PM
2/3 of Amistad
Posted by baboysai under Baboysai's Days
It's the typhoon season again, and I haven't had a single step on beach sand. I bought a thousand-buck two-piece and I didn't get to wear it. But who cares about me ranting here, right?
Even if I didn't go to the beach this summer, I did enjoy it nonetheless. I think it was because of my PE class. Absolute. If you're looking for a PE class that's fun and physically challenging at the same time, take Prof. Marvin Sabado's weight training. I got my muscles toned, but I gained two pounds, haha. No, not funny. I'm overweight now because of those darn two pounds. I'm 'slightly' doing cardiovascular exercise to lose weight but I get so impatient.
And I think I had some serious time for reflections. About losing 15 thousand bucks in about three weeks... about wanting to kiss a guy I don't know, about going to school every-single-day (a miracle), about being hit on in a creepy kind of way by a creepy guy and my boyfriend not coming up to make me feel better about it, and about love and life in general.
I marathoned a new anime on my list, and it hasn't discouraged me from loving anime. A neighbor once said to me "Anime is dumb". I controlled my self not to jump at him and twist his neck. And I controlled myself to take him on an intelligent debate too, I didn't think he could have a chance. To anyone out there who is so darned prejudiced about this form of media called anime, I'm so sorry you just don't know how rich this culture is. If I must point out, anime is one of only a few who dare to present the many issues faced in the real world to its viewers. Many films cannot even capture the harsh or silly realities in life, yet they can be seen in anime as simple symbols and characters playing in a superb story. Homosexuality, poverty, war, the role of women in society, the insecurities of the male sex, oppression, pride, suicide. Sure they might sometimes come in annoying voices, unnaturally colored hair, huge eyes and exaggerated bodies. I'm telling you to look beyond that.
Dammit. Getting worked up over some darn anime. hehe.
Anyway, while watching "Amistad" in my pc, in the middle of the second disc, I heard a scary cracking sound and it stopped playing. I don't know how I knew it, but I immediately thought the CD cracked. And when we opened the player, we saw bits and pieces of what used to be the second disc. Tsk Tsk.
THE END. Baboysai is passionate
May 16, 2006 @ 12:08 AM
She, the Ultimate Weapon
Posted by baboysai under Baboysai's Reviews
Let's say we don't know what time in the world today would belong to. Let's say we are just living a peaceful life in this small town, going to school, having a crush on someone, going out and buying gifts in the city, and the city suddenly explodes from a bombing. We don't know why, but war has definitely struck. You see the friend you were with die. You look up at the sky and see what looks like a tiny star finish the enemy in one sweep. The star falls to the ground. The mist clears, and in the star's place, you see her. Not a star, but a girl, morphed into a weapon of mass destruction.
Can't believe it? Let's flash to a few days back. You were dating with this cute timid girl in class. Didn't take her seriously. She just desperately wanted to be with you. You are hot, after all, the jock. You go your separate ways after the date, and she trots back to her little house.
The day after the bombing, after your friend's death, you meet your girlfriend in school. She has many bruises, cuts and scratches all over her. She tells you it's nothing. Days pass, and more news about attacks and counter-attacks around the place reach you. But nothing happens in your peaceful town. And you see less of your girlfriend, and if you do, you see more bruises, more cuts, more scratches.
You get curious and decide to visit her at her little home. And just before you get there, you see the star landing in front of her house, the girl whose body has morphed into a weapon of mass destruction. Shutting off and returning to her human self, she becomes this cute timid girl you went out with. Your girlfriend. Bruised, cut, and scratched.
She was abducted by the military, and became a test subject that cannot help but respond to the call of war.
You notice that the world around you is changing, ravaged by this war. Yet your little town stays peaceful like it was before. And she tells you it's because she's there that you are able to live this peaceful life. So she kills, and destroys the enemies that threaten your little town. She is bruised, cut and scratched. And you witness her transform slowly into a weapon scarier than she was before. And all you can do is live this peaceful life she protects.
What can you do after all? Just watch her slowly become a heartless weapon, used to preserve your pathetic little life. Because you are all she has to feel human. It is your love that makes her human.
Saishuu Heiki Kanojo: The Last Love Song on This Little Planet
by Shin Takahashi
Anime Rating (/10):
THE END. Baboysai is adik
May 16, 2006 @ 01:37 AM
The Saga Continues
Posted by baboysai under Baboysai's Days
I don't want to say it, I don't want it known, I don't want to acknowledge it. But it's just too much. When has it become so unbearable not to love you?
If you have to do it, then do it. And if you can't anymore, you can cry.
I wonder which is more painful, letting go or being left behind?
Your half-heartedness in saving me, and yet half-heartingly letting go is killing me!
Taking sides, knowing what's right or wrong, it's a waste of your life to worry about these things.
You're no superhero. But do you honestly think she'd feel the same if it was me by her side? There are things that only you can do.
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Fruits Basket is definitely alive. And I just stumbled upon a heavy load of continuation to the story after a standstill for almost four months! And it's keeping me up until early morning.
Kyo is just too sweet.
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