Entries for June, 2005
June 13, 2005 @ 12:27 AM
Death
Posted by baboysai under Baboysai's Works
How would I define death? Is it simply the loss of life? Is it the anti-thesis of life? Then to define death, logic would have us define life, and death would be everything it's not...
But does it really apply?
Some people may easily define life. I may have on many occasions thought of life as a simple philosophy. I may have thought of Life as licking ice cream. As raind on my skin. As the fresh air and starry night. Maybe because these are things I experience that I cannot put into words. Maybe because I cannot make up the words that should define life.
Things can pose as life itself, and when destroyed, becomes death. Sometimes I think if death is always destruction or decay. Could simple shutting off the mind be considered as death? or "I quit.."? Or a gap in my memory.. and something forgotten will never live in my mind again. Or the more complex, forcing the gap to materialize.
And yet... there's struggle. There's always a fight. Life, like India, is a mystery. Death, like people, is a mystery.
THE END. Baboysai is hyped
June 13, 2005 @ 01:03 AM
Love Prevails
Posted by baboysai under Baboysai's Reviews
"What ever path you choose, remember that you don't have to force things like loneliness and Sadness to exist..."
"Kindness is grown, and people have it in different shapes."
"We are born with greed and malicious thoughts that's why these things are easy to understand. But not everybody has kindness, so it can easily be thought of as hypocrisy."
"Why are you always the one... who tells me the things I want to hear the most..?"
"Let's kiss.. because we love each other."
"You can cry, say the silly things you say.. you can show me your weak side, as long as I'm with you."
"Even when he doesn't say anything, his eyes say I love you. And the way she just looks back, she says the same thing..."
"You keep stepping on your hope, that if it dies you can go on without thinking. But it will always bloom, in a day, a month, or even ten years... Hope will always bloom."
"Even with my memory gone, will you still be my friend?"
"I'll love you twice as much, to replace for the love your mother can't give."
"People who know the feeling of loneliness... cannot help but love."
Baboysai listens to fruits basket
Baboysai reads fruits basket
Baboysai watches fruits basket
THE END. Baboysai is fruits basket
June 27, 2005 @ 05:42 PM
It hasn't been too early for me
Posted by baboysai under Baboysai's Days
Pain... I wonder if he's felt it?
I guess. From the stories he's told me, he might have had some sad moments.
I wonder if he's felt a pain as intensely as i did... that time.
A pain from loving someone too much.
A pain of unrequieted love.
A pain of giving too much.
A pain that felt like your heart slowly froze.
"Don't you ever miss anyone?"
"No. I don't know how to miss..."
Does "missing" mean the same thing as longing?
Has he felt that feeling?
To long for someone so badly it hurts?
Has he felt it in his heart, to be broken, torn, and helpless?
He's talked about being rejected.
It might have hurt.
I wanted to know how it hurt.. where it hurt.
What would I do then? If I knew?
Baboysai listens to Michael Buble
THE END. Baboysai is damned
June 27, 2005 @ 05:45 PM
Beer and Tears
Posted by baboysai under Baboysai's Days
It has been a long time.
One of my dreams to be really good at something.
I feel a deep fire for it.
That's why, when I was told that only rich people could waste their time..
thinking about such impractical things, I cried.
I told them I was just drunk and being emotional.
But the truth was that, I was sane. And heard every word of it.
And it hurt. To be told that what you wanted to do for other people,
was something they don't need.
I wanted to open opportunities.
I wanted them to discover hidden or unknown passions.
I wanted them to see the beauty I found in it.
I was hoping I could change the way they looked at things,
if I could make them realize that they could do something with their hands.
I was told I was being too idealistic.
That in reality people wouldn't care.
That everyday people would think about how to get food into their stomachs.
And would not have time for pesky stuff like music...
I wanted to teach to children.
I wanted to make them hear how beautiful they could make it.
I kind of felt it was true.
My mother told me that if you did what you always wanted, you would surely succeed.
I kept saying this to myself, and anyone who ever doubted what they were doing.
She said that if only other people knew of how many possibilities there are to get by,
they'd surely find something they want from it all.
I realized that many of them only knew from the movies.
That there were unexplored fields they weren't able to have heard of,
that they could have been capable of succeeding in, if only they knew.
If only they were given the chance to learn, or try to see if they were good at something.
I was told I was being stupid.
That I could not feed them with the things I was willing to teach.
But because I found so much peace, so many hopes, in what I was doing..
And if I thought I could share it with them, they might also see.
It feels so good that you can make something beautiful with your own hands.
To hear yourself play.
To have felt so much out of what you were doing.
To have expressed so much emotion.
I thought it was something everybody needed.
I know without it I'd find it hard.
But I'm not like everybody.
"Real people don't care a damn about the things you say..
All they need is food and shelter, and things to get them by.
The way the University makes us all think we can change the world..
You'll realize it when you get there.
You can think of all these things because you don't have to think of earning your money!"
And I cried.
Because I needed music so much.
Am I not real? Am I really just idealistic yet... disillusioned?
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